Are You A Good Kisser or A Bad Kisser?

I once refused a second date with someone because he was the worst kisser I'd ever experienced. I'm sure he was nice, but I just couldn't get past the kissing incompatibility. But it got me wondering, then and now, what makes a good kisser? Here is my answer.

A good kisser, first and foremost, cares about oral hygiene. He or she does not smoke - who wants to kiss an ashtray?? Ew! Onions, garlic, Limburger cheese, etc. are all summarily taken care of with brushing and mouthwash before he or she puckers up. And Loretta Lynn said it best: "Don't come home a-drinkin' with loving on your mind." No one likes the taste of alcohol second-hand!

That was probably one of the reasons my bad kisser never made it to the second date. He liked gefilte fish a bit too much! Trust your Auntie Rhomylly - unless you grew up eating it, gefilte fish is really awful - and it's even worse filtered through someone else.

A good kisser allows his or her partner to breathe. This sounds so obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people smoosh in so close for so long that the tip of the other person's nose is pressed against a cheek and their mouth is caught in some weird suction action, both of which effectively prevent air from entering the body! Solution? Vary the intensity, position, and mouth action so your partner can breathe. This is particularly important during allergy season, when your sweetie's nose is all stuffy and he or she must rely on mouth breathing to live.

A good kisser is open to new technique. A bad kisser thinks he or she is God's gift to tongue-waltzing, and isn't interested in improvements. My one-date's idea of kissing was to mash lips together and make guppy-mouth up and down motions. Not fun.Yeah, that was probably a pretty good technique in third grade, but this guy was in his forties and had bee married! (makes me ponder why his wife left him...but I digress) Believe me, I tried everything I could think of to get him to do anything else - a little tongue action, the occasional breaking off for a sweet peck, but no go. He was a guppy-mouth on steroids, and nothing else was acceptable! What I probably should have done, in retrospect, was - say something.

A good kisser is a good communicator. Ask your partner if he or she likes how you smooch. Tell your sweetie what you like the most about his or her kissing! Use words, not vague tongue or lip hints, to get your point across. You deserve to get what you want in the lip-locking department. Your significant other does, too!

A good kisser adds some real emotion to the moment. Project through your kiss just how much you care for him or her. This isn't a porno movie! No one's watching you (unless your partner is the eyes-open-while-kissing sort). Make it real.

A good kisser takes advantage of a romantic moment. Kiss your sweetie while holding hands, hugging, or slow dancing. When my husband Alex and I lived in Missouri, we often had cause to walk past a pair of holly trees that had formed an arch over a small section of sidewalk on the University of Missouri campus. Not once, in the four years we lived there, did we fail to stop under that arch and kiss before going about our on-campus business. On the other hand, Alex is a first-rate kisser!

If you think you might be a bad kisser, and you're either single or too scared to consult your sweetie, ask a friend for his or her opinion and lay one on them. Demand feedback. Go to the dentist. Practice.

Happy kissing!